? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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