When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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