A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
