I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
