Nicole vs. Life
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
