He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
