Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
