You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
