Just fell off a train. Bad.
i barfeds in our rink
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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