I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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