When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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