yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
whose parrot is this?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
