we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
