Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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