yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
