I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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