guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think my vagina is haunted
it hurts more in the daytime
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
