just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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