i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
