I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
