If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
where are you?
Hypothermia
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
