The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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