you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
