I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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