I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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