dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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