Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
