HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
