Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
