so explain again why im purple
no
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
