I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
