Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
