And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
