that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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