Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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