Im at strip club and am horny
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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