I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
