That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
