From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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