Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
