you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
NoShamevember. You game?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
