she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
