dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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