Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
