You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
