Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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