i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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