Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
