well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
