never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
