we made out on top of his cat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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