I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
