And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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