Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
