If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
