In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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