I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
